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Friday, October 16, 2009, 1:09 AM

Rewind yourself

Press play when you hit the spot where I was taking Chris home with me. You and him were texting each other shit and touching hands right behind my seat. I didn't even know what the fuck was goin on. You kept that from me til this day.

Press play when I was dating Chris you was all up on him. Especially on his shit when I wasn't around. Flirtin' with the nigga and shit behind my back.

Press play when you hit the spot where you were talking about me behind my back having a conversation about me with TimSon while I was in the other room. You apologized I took you back as a friend.

Press play when you hit the part where I cheat on Chris with Jason and I didn't get to tell him about it when I'm his girlfriend. Instead your so "best friends with me" you tell him before I get the chance to. You apologized I forgave you and still took you back as a friend.

Press play when you hit the part where I hang out with Steven, I told you we kissed you went and told Chris when I was suppose to be the one telling him first I didn't even get a chance to because you did it. You apologized I forgave you took you back as a friend again.

Lets not put you on the spot for you dating Wilson and cheating on him for so long with Danny and me not telling him because I thought you were his girlfriend you should tell him before he hears it from someone else.

Lets not remember how I would stand up for you. Let not remember when I wiped your tears. Lets not remember how I said don't let him put you down. Lets not remember how I told you, your better then that. Lets not remember the moments I treated you like a sister. Lets not remember me driving you around to see who you wanted to see.Lets not remember when I would steal things for you. Lets not remember when I let you come to my house just so you can hang with whoever you were fucking with at the time. Right?

Press play when you reach the moment I was having a little issue with my family over my siblings. Your mother tells you I ran away from home because I got caught sneaking boys in my room. But really I got kicked out for fighting with my mom. And those "boys" in my room were the ones you brought over. My mom knew about them being there, she didn't care. The only ones I've brought over is November last year for the get together. You didn't speak up for me, because " your mother wouldn't let you talk." You know damn well you could've and that she was wrong. I was mad because that wasn't even how it went down. You apologized so I forgave you.

Oh press play when you hit the spot where you steal Sarah's camera and Ning and I found it in your jacket pocket , yet we kept it a secret for you. You sure didn't tell me I was going to be the one you put the blame on. I don't forgive you for that, Because nigga you is outta control. I am not the person to blame for your wrong doings. The reason your mother doesn't trust you is your own fault I should've known not to trust you either if your mother couldn't trust you. "Best friends" don't do that type of shit. You don't call that back stabbin' ass shit?

Press play to the part where you still talk shit behind my back. Bad mouth me to all you Danbury buddies.You think you don't have people hating me in Danbury because of you? And you say I'm backstabbing you? That you would never do the shit that I do to you to me? If you weren't to fuck up in the first ten times you think I would be the way I am towards you? Did I ever fuck you over during our friendship? Don't give me that bullshit. I see right through your sorry ass. Actin' hard over the internet. Silly Hoe. If I didn't have a heart I woulda snapped your neck already. Don't play.

Thursday, October 15, 2009, 3:15 PM

The snow is falling.

It's only October and it's snowing already,
that's outta control. I made a new tumblr... because I've forgotten the old ones password.
I don't wanna let my momma down sunday - but i'm gonna have to. gawwhd.
Thank you Phillip, for apologizing about the lie you told everyone. " You were just mad. "

I wanna just let the past go, Stop getting mad at these little things because I'm wasting my own time. Fuckem right? let em think what they think, let em talk what they talk. It's either a lie or the truth. Now, I just need to process that into my mind.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009, 11:53 PM

I'm sorry momma

After all the sixteen years of hell I put you through, you still love me like you have since day one. I don't think there is anyone stronger then a mother like you. You are the most incredible woman to me. I wish I was able to replace your sadness into happiness, your tears into joyful tears, and stress into no worries. I can not live with out you. I can not have you out of my life. You take the time out to teach me right from wrong. You make me strong, I am weak with out you. You don't always understand me but you still take the time out to try. No matter how many times I mess up and do the same mistake over and over again. Your constantly still trying to teach me until I understand. Everytime you kick me out the house, You can't sleep you can't eat you can't process you always look every where for me until I come back home. Why? because you love me. I couldn't ask for a better mother. Even though it seems as if I don't at times. I love the hell out of you. If you were ever to leave me I would be nothing.

No matter what drama happens between you and

I, I can not have you not being apart of my life.

6:24 PM

Fuck you if you had me.

It's been a year since we broke up, I don't know if it was today, yesterday, or the next week. I know it was this month. It's like your still haunting me. I can't get away from you even though i'm not even near you. Today I heard that you and miss hoochi momma was flirtin' and shit while I was taking you to my house. You guys were touching hands, and texting back and fourth to each other, right behind me and I didn't even know. & this is before all the other shit I happen to do. Isn't that just some shit? and you never told me about that. I ain't mad now, but it's a little upsetting you know? How you can play this hate game towards me when you was doin' dirty shit too. I don't know if i'm suppose to dislike you for the shit you did to me because in both ways we were bad to each other. It was just problem after problem. I don't even know how I fell hard enough to cry over you. I hurted you , you hurted me. In the end we're equal ... why do you still intend on looking at it as if it was all my fault? How the hell do you still fustrate me without even doing anything. It's like everytime I'm doing good you pop up -holyshittinballsntitties

Tuesday, October 13, 2009, 3:54 PM

if you fail, try again.

i wanna start over again.
and if i fail again, i'll try again.
i just wanna do something i'm really proud of later on.
yet, i'm so far behind.